


Time loops and flipping people off

by QueenBee333



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Craig and Those Guys - Freeform, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, Humor, M/M, Mystery, Paradox, Repeating the same day over and over, Slow Burn, Tweek and Kenny Brotp, creek - Freeform, fake boyfriends, flipping people off, ground hog day, time loops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24891676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBee333/pseuds/QueenBee333
Summary: Tweek Tweak has a nice, boring life. Yes, he’s still in a fake relationship with his best friend after several years but considering he lives in South Park it’s not that bad. What happens when Tweek gets stuck in a time loop and has to repeat the same day over and over? Come find out!I suck at summaries it’s all fun I promise!!!
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick & Tweek Tweak
Comments: 79
Kudos: 208





	1. Boring was fun while it lasted

Tweek Tweak had a pretty standard life despite living in South Park. Sure there would be the occasional celebrity that tried to take over the town or some other paranormal anomaly. But ever since he started high school, the craziness had started to dial down. Now he was in his junior year of high school and the craziness only happened once every few months. Tweek really didn’t know why everything was becoming a little more normal each day but he really didn’t want to jinx it. So he followed the same routine.

Every day he would wake up to the blaring sound of his alarm and groggily pull himself out of bed to head downstairs and make a cup of coffee. Yes, that was always his first priority. He would then walk back to his room and begin the process of getting dressed. The blonde would pull on his usual green crew neck sweater and roll the sleeves up (he stopped dealing with button-ups in middle school). He then grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and black converse from the closet and pulled them on. The worst part of his morning would be dealing with his hair. It was a lot shorter than when he was younger, it had a slight wave on the top while the sides were short. Tweek would comb his hair back until it looked more styled rather than a hot mess. He would normally proceed to shove all his stuff randomly in his bag and he heads downstairs. But that morning, he had to spend an extra fifteen minutes looking for his English paper because of his dysfunctional tendencies. He eventually found it in the third desk drawer and sighed with relief. The doorbell then rang, right on schedule, and on the other side was his fake boyfriend of several years.

Craig Tucker stood in the doorway of the Tweek’s house with his usual bored expression on his face. Tweek always liked the fact Craig was always so predictable. He wore practically the same outfit every day consisting of a white NASA shirt, dark blue jacket, and skinny jeans. He kept his iconic chullo hat on over his short dark hair. But like his taste in clothes, his attitude never changed. He would flip anyone off who annoyed him and never involved himself into something that was extreme. He was boring but Tweek really took comfort in that.

They would have Red Racer marathons, play video games or mess with Cartman. It was fun, Craig was fun. Despite being thrown into this relationship for years, it never really changed their friendship dynamic. Yeah, they would hold hands in public, but it wasn’t really a big deal anymore. Thank god the townspeople stopped drawing those weird-ass pictures and stopped following them around. People still shipped them, so if they did break up the town would become depressed and chaos would ensue. It was just easier to stay best friends in a fake gay relationship.

“Hey, babe,” Craig greeted immediately sliding his hand into the blonde’s. Tweek never understood why he was so insistent on pet names, especially when they were alone. But Tweek shrugged it off, it’s not like he meant it.

“Hi, sorry for the wait.” Tweek apologized as Craig started leading him outside. “I couldn’t find my English paper.”

“It’s fine,” Craig replied. They walked in a comfortable silence until they reached the school. The two really didn’t need to talk, they were comfortable around each other to the point they never need to force a conversation. They finally made it to History also known as Mr. Garrison’s class.

How Mr. Garrison is still a teacher is still a shock to his former students today. After he lost the re-election by a landslide, P.C principal (who had also moved up to high school) gave him a job as the junior history teacher. Yeah, no one in Tweek’s class learned anything involving history. Tweek and Craig moved to their designated seats in the back, desks next to each other as they heard the bell ring. Garrison was still one of the most hardcore shippers, he once offered extra credit if the boys made out in front of him. Craig immediately flipped off the pervert and dragged an uncomfortable Tweek out of the room.

“Okay, class we’re going to be taking a pop quiz because Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t win an Oscar last night.” Everyone groaned, the man didn’t teach shit but gave quizzes constantly. Tweek felt his hands starting to shake due to the anxiety of not being prepared. He suddenly felt a hand on his, the blonde looked over to see Craig leaning over, giving the blonde reassuring look. Tweek interlocked his hand with Craig’s and gave a relaxed smile, Craig was a really good friend.

“Mr. Garrison do we really have too?” Cartman whined while the rest of the students begin to agree.

“Y-yeah we’re all going to fail.” Butters piped up, Mr. Garrison scoffed and put his hands on his hips.

“Well that’s too bad, you should have started studying the moment Leonardo lost to fucking Gene Hackman!” Garrison yelled as he distributed the quiz, Tweek looked over the quiz it was about the Renaissance. He didn’t know shit about the Renaissance. Craig continued to hold Tweek’s hand and Mr. Garrison noticed the action.

“Craig let go of Tweek’s hand and take your test.” The pervert said, Tweek tried unlocking his fingers, but Craig’s grip stayed.

“No.” The stoic boy answered as he looked at the teacher with a bored expression. Tweek looked at Craig with pleading eyes but he would not release his grip.

“Craig, I will fail you,” The irrational teacher threatened, Craig, sighed and released the blonde’s hand. Tweek gave Craig a look that said, _I know what you’re going to do please don’t it_. But the dark-haired boy looked forward as he held his hand up in front of the teacher and flipped him off.

Tweek felt himself blackout.  
  


................................................................................  
Tweek groaned as he heard his alarm ring, indicating it was seven a.m. The blonde sat up and took a moment to process the dream he just had. It was so weirdly realistic and detailed that it kinda freaked Tweek out, but he shrugged it off a went downstairs to make his coffee. It was just a dream, he shouldn’t be freaking out over something that wasn’t real unlike the gnomes. He then went through his usual morning routine and started packing up his backpack. Tweek then noticed he was missing his English paper, like in the dream. So he paused and slowly opened his third desk drawer and there was the paper. Before Tweek could speculate the weird coincidence, he heard the doorbell ring indicating Craig had arrived.

“Hey, babe.” The other boy greeted as he immediately interlocked his hand with the blonde’s. It wasn’t out of the ordinary this is how Craig always greeted him.

“Hi,” Tweek replied as they began walking. They reached the school; walked to Garrison’s class and proceeded to sit in their designated seats. Garrison walked up to the front of the room with a stack of papers as soon as the bell rang and spoke.

“Okay, class we’re going to be taking a pop quiz because Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t win an Oscar last night.” The class groaned at the news but Tweek felt his heart stop and his body froze. It was exactly like his dream last night!

“Mr. Garrison do we really have too?” Cartman whined while the rest of the students begin to agree.

“Y-yeah we’re all going to fail.” Butters piped up, Mr. Garrison scoffed and put his hands on his hips. He then opened his mouth respond, Tweek couldn't hear anything because he was in shock.

This couldn't be possible right?! It’s probably Déjà vu, yeah that makes sense, his life is so predictable that his subconscious is just playing tricks on him. Garrison then passed out the quiz, once Tweek got his copy he immediately looked at the topic: The Renaissance.

Yeah okay, Tweek can freak out now, his hands began shaking as he held his paper. Tweek then felt something warm on his hand, he looked over and sure enough, it was Craig’s hand and he was giving the same reassuring look. Tweek felt his eyes bulge as Craig tightly held his hand.

“Craig let go of Tweek’s hand and take your test.” Garrison said as he looked at the stoic boy and the panicked blond.

“No,” Craig replied, Tweek was still in too much shock to move. He then noticed his classmates were watching with amusement, except for Kenny who looked a little bewildered.

“Craig, I will fail you,” The perverted teacher threatened. Craig sighed and released the frozen blonde’s limp hand. He then looked at the teacher directly in the eye and flipped him off.

Tweek felt himself blackout.  
................................................................................  
Tweek gasped as he heard the shrill sound of his alarm. He sat up immediately and clutched his chest. He felt as if he’s going insane, he sighed as he began his routine. Of course, this thing is fucking insane but he has to see if it happens again! Maybe it was really all in his head and it was just some fuck up form of Lucid dreaming. He remembered his English paper and dryly swallowed. As he was about to open the drawer, the doorbell rang and Tweek ran downstairs completely ignoring the paper. He swung the door open and revealed his fake boyfriend.

“Hey, ba-“ Tweek cut Craig off by grabbing his hand and started walking. He needed answers and wasn’t going to waste time. Craig started to catch up and slowly motioned the blond to stop.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” The dark-haired boy demanded. Despite the stoic face, Craig’s blue eyes were filled with concern. Tweek’s face pulled into a pained expression as he kept walking. He wasn’t going to tell Craig unless it was real, he didn’t want the other boy to think he was crazy. They eventually made it to the school, entered the classroom, and sat down. They had a lot more time to spare considering how fast Tweek walked. Craig kept trying to get the blonde to talk.

“Did I do something?” Craig asked a hint of worry hidden in his monotonous voice.

“No,ngh, shut up,” Tweek responded a little harsher than he intended. The bell would ring at any moment and he had to mentally prepare.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” Tweek sighed as he looked at Craig who looked genuinely worried. That was new, usually, Craig never showed a single emotion. It’s sweet that he cares but now is not the time.

“Not, ack, now,” Tweek said as he heard the bell ring. Mr. Garrison approached the front of the room while holding a stack of papers.

“Honey-“ Tweek put his hand up towards Craig as a gesture to stop talking. The blonde felt as if his insides were on fire because of the anticipation. Craig sighed as he let his face fall into a frown.

“Okay, class we’re going to be taking a pop quiz because Leonardo DiCaprio didn’t win an Oscar last night.”

Tweek felt ice-cold as let his face fall into his hands, trying to suppress a scream. What kind of weird Hell is this?! He moved his hands grip to his hair as he blocked out all the other voices. He was going crazy and he felt completely alone. Is this his life now? Why is this happening to him? Tweek felt a familiar hand on him, it was Craig carefully trying to remove his hand from his hair. Tweek jerked his hand away and yelled in pure frustration.

“Don’t touch me!” The blonde screeched, Craig’s wyes widened. Tweek never shied away from Craig’s touch, now he was acting as if Craig was like poison. His outburst seemed to get the attention of everyone, before they could respond Tweek spoke again.

“I can’t do this!” Tweek said defeated, as he rushed out of the room and into the hallway. He didn’t realize Craig was on his heels.

“Tweek look I’m so sorry if I did something-“ Craig began apologizing in his monotonous voice, but he was cut off by someone neither of the two expected.

“Tweek do you keep repeating this day?” A new voice asked in a serious tone. All three boys were standing in the middle of the hallway, not caring if they get in trouble.

“Kenny?! Tweek yelped in surprise as Craig looked beyond confused with his eyebrows scrunched up. Kenny faced Tweek and put both his hands on the other blonde’s shoulders. His dark blue eyes were scanning Tweek’s face, as if he was searching for the truth.

“Tweek do you keep repeating this day?” Kenny asked again in the same tone it was so different compared to his usual relaxed attitude. Tweek soaked in the question, he hadn’t misheard.

“YES! This is like the third time!” He shouted with relief as he felt himself sort of lean into Kenny, his stress was starting to melt away. He wasn’t the only one!

“Same, I thought I was losing my fucking mind!” Kenny said as he smiled with relief.

“Okay what the fuck is happening?” Both blondes turned their heads towards Craig. He looked completely dumbfounded at whatever this was. Tweek removed himself from Kenny and crossed his arms, not knowing what to say.

“Not now Tucker,” Kenny piped up.

“Fuck off McCormick. Tweek what’s happening?” Before Tweek had the chance to explain, Kenny retorted.

“Craig this doesn’t concern you, Tweek and I need to talk so please leave.” Craig looked at Kenny with his signature stoic face and began to raise his hand to form a gesture.

“No-“ Kenny yelled, as Craig flipped him off.

Tweek felt himself blackout.  
................................................................................

Tweek woke up to the sound of his alarm ringing, he grabbed the alarm and threw it at the wall. The blonde sat there as he came to the most logical conclusion: He was stuck in a fucking time loop.


	2. Notifications and Pastors

Tweek needed to breathe, he felt as if he was suffocating under all the new information. First off, he’s in some kind of knock off version of Groundhog Day the movie! Secondly, Kenny is also somehow trapped with him. Fuck! Why did this have to happen to him?! Tweek thought of himself as a relatively good person compared to some of the other assholes in town. Sure the blond wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t go out of his way to ruin other people’s lives. He had no reason to be tortured like this, like seriously do this to someone like Cartman.

Tweek heard his phone chime, indicating he had a notification. The blonde grabbed his phone from his nightstand and checked the screen: it was a text from Kenny.

_I’m coming over we need to talk about this_

Tweek gulped as he slowly moved his fingers to type a reply.

 _Okay_.

Tweek sighed in disbelief as he casually dropped his phone next to him on the bed. The blonde then leaned back on the array disheveled blankets and looked up at the ceiling. He stayed in that position for about thirty minutes, not bothering to change out of his grey sweat pants and dark green shirt that acted as his pajamas. 

Tweek was in deep thought until he heard the doorbell ring. He shot up from the bed, he had somehow forgotten about Craig and their usual routine. He couldn’t tell Craig what was happening after last time, he flipped off Kenny and it restarted the cycle. Was Craig maybe connected to it or was it all a weird coincidence? All Tweek knew was he needed to talk to Kenny ASAP and Craig couldn’t be here. The disheveled blond rushed down the stairs and opened the front door.

“Um, why aren’t you ready?” Craig questioned as he saw the blonde. His dark blue eyes scanned Tweek’s clothes with confusion. The blonde was internally panicking, but he did his best not to show it on the outside.

“I-I not feeling good s-so I’m just going to stay home,” Tweek quickly lied as he looked down to avoid Craig’s gaze. Tweek was a relatively good actor, but it was hard to lie to Craig, the guy has known him for years. “I’m sorry,” He added as he waited for Craig’s response. 

“I’ll stay with you,” Craig replied in his signature monotone voice as he walked inside the Tweek residence.

“But you should really go to school!” Tweek protested, his hands gesturing for Craig to leave. 

“Nah,” Craig said as he walked into the kitchen, while Tweek quickly followed. He then proceeded to start opening up the kitchen cabinets. “Do you have any chips?”  
  
“Craig, ack, you need to go, I really don’t want to get you sick,” Tweek pleaded, Craig rolled his eyes and shut the cabinet door. The other boy stepped in front of the blond and proceeded to move his hand to the blonde’s forehead. His long fingers were a little cold, but they actually felt nice. Tweek’s face began to heat up with embarrassment at the fact they were so close and the sudden contact.  
  
“You don’t feel that sick,” Craig replied as he removed his hand from the blonde’s forehead. This was getting ridiculous, he needed to get him out of here before Kenny arrived!

“I-I am,” Tweek insisted in a fake, weak voice to try and convince Craig. The dark-haired boy sighed as he opened the fridge.

“Okay, but I really don’t want to go to school,” Craig responded as he pulled a soda out of the fridge and took a sip while leaning against the counter. Tweek closed his eyes for a moment to think of a good reason to attend, there isn’t one. The blonde just decided to keep lying.

“Listen I heard from Stan, that Kyle and Cartman are going to fight after first period,” Craig’s eyes lit up at the information. Tweek suppressed a smirk, the taller boy hated those guys. 

“Seriously?” Craig asked in disbelief and Tweek nodded, maybe he could get away with this. 

“Why the fuck are you talking to Marsh?” The dark-haired teen suddenly questioned, irritation forming in his monotonous voice. He put down his soda and crossed his arms as if he was a child.

“I’m not, he just texted me randomly!” Tweek answered in defense and of course, at that exact moment Kenny opened the front door. Luckily Craig wasn’t facing the door, but instead looking at Tweek with an unconvinced expression.

“Did you hear that?” Craig asked, Kenny’s blue eyes widened at the sight of the dark-haired boy’s back. Tweek immediately spoke up while looking at Kenny with pleading eyes to fucking move. 

“Yeah um, damn pipes,” Tweek lied lamely as he knocked on the wall. Craig raised an eyebrow and was about to turn around and see Kenny. So in a panic, Tweek grabbed Craig’s face with both hands and cupped his cheeks, making him look at Tweek directly in the eyes.

“What are you doing,” Craig asked in a quiet voice as his eyes slightly widened, their faces were now less than a foot away. Though they were almost the same height, the blonde was only a little shorter as he looked up at the taller boy. Tweek took a moment to think of an excuse to justify whatever the hell he was doing, he then broke the silence.

“You h-have something o-on your face,” Tweek stuttered as he held the stoic boy’s face and used his thumb to gently graze his sharp cheekbone. Tweek always thought Craig had a nice bone structure due to his naturally sharp features, but never really dwelled on it. But actually touching his face now made him really notice how Craig was actually pretty attractive.It felt so weirdly intimate that it made Tweek’s heart rate quicken.

While Tweek was pretending to wipe something off Craig’s cheek, Kenny ran up the stairs to avoid being seen. Once he was out of sight, Tweek released his hands and awkwardly placed them behind his back.

“Oh,” Craig replied still a little shocked at what had happened, he turned his gaze slightly to the side to avoid eye contact. 

“O-Okay now go see that fight and let me know who wins.” Tweek immediately spoke up as he led the slightly disoriented teen to the door.

“Feel, um, better.” The taller teen said as he started walking the other way. Tweek closed the door and took a deep breath, _well that was new_ he thought to himself as he walked upstairs. Sure enough, there was Kenny McCormick lounging on his bed.

“That was so sweet,” Kenny gushed as soon as Tweek entered the room. He was dressed in his usual orange jacket and dark jeans. Unlike Tweek, the other blonde looked relatively relaxed.

“W-What?!” Tweek spluttered as he looked at Kenny with wide eyes. 

“He wanted to stay with you,” Kenny said in a fake sickly sweet voice, Tweak scoffed.

“T-That asshole just wanted, ack, an excuse to miss school,” Tweek said annoyed, of all the times for Craig to be lazy, he picks this horrendous time.

“Oh come did you see the way he was looking at you?” Kenny said as he motioned Tweek to sit on the other side of the bed, but Tweek continued to pace. “I felt like I was walking into the intro of a porno” He added while wagging his eyebrows. Tweek stopped pacing and blushed at Kenny’s implication.

“Ack shut up! That’s not important now,” The frazzled blonde yelled. “We need to figure out this whole time loop thing!”

“Oh that’s what it’s called? I’ve just been calling it the flip off theory,” Kenny said casually as he pulled out a cigarette with a questionable look. Tweek nodded as he let the other blonde smoke in his room.

“Why!?” Tweek loudly questioned after Kenny took a drag. He then grabbed the cigarette the other boy offered and inhaled as an attempt to calm his nerves. Tweek didn’t smoke often but if someone offered it to him, he would take it. Kenny sighed and opened his mouth to speak.

“Every time Craig flips someone off it makes everything repeat.” He said calmly like this was no big deal for him. Tweek felt his eyes widen, so it hadn’t been a coincidence.

“It can’t just be Craig. Why would he be the sole cause of all this?” Tweek exclaimed, Craig’s been flipping people off since the day he learned the gesture. Why would it have this result now?

“Tweek I don’t know if you haven’t fucking noticed, but we live in South Park, there’s no fucking logic here,” Kenny replied a little more agitated than before. Tweek huffed as he opened his mouth to retort.

“Gah I-I know! Believe me I do, considering all the shit we’ve been through since we were kids! B-but for every weird, fucked up anomaly there’s always an even weirder fucked up reason!” Tweek practically shouted. South Park may be the most random fucking town in the world but everything that happened was for a reason. There cannot possibly be no reason to why this is happening.

“Okay, you have a point.” Kenny said with a sigh as his voice shifted back to its relaxed tone. Tweek couldn’t be mad, this whole thing was frustrating for both of them.

“But what if we never find out why? Maybe we should focus on breaking the cycle,” Kenny said as he rose from the bed to meet Tweek eye to eye.

“What a-are you implying?” 

“If Craig goes the whole day without flipping someone off then we won’t have to repeat the same day.” 

“Are y-you kidding?! Craig flips, ack, someone off every day, how would we stop him?!” Tweek loudly questioned, he has known Craig for several years and he has never seen him not flip someone off for an entire day.

“I’m not too sure but I think we should at least try it,” Kenny said as he inhaled from the cigarette. It was kinda a loosely based plan but Tweek is willing to try anything.

“O-Okay what if we-“ 

Tweek felt himself blackout.

................................................................................  
“F-fuck” Tweek groaned as he heard his shrill alarm, he snapped his eyes open and immediately reached for his phone. He quickly punched in Kenny’s caller ID and within the first ring, the other blond answered. 

“You were saying,” Kenny said sarcastically, clearly annoyed at the sudden repeat. Tweek sighed and started removing himself from his bed. Craig must’ve flipped someone off at the school, maybe if he wasn’t at school they would have a better chance!

“Look I’ll just, ack, keep Craig here so he won’t flip anyone off,” Tweek said as he walked downstairs to make himself a cup of coffee. 

“Okay, I’ll try and get answers, maybe there’s a book or google page about time loops,” Kenny said in his casual voice, Tweek sighed as his drink brewed.

“Jesus I hope so,” Tweek muttered as he took a swing of his drink. He ended the call as he walked to the bathroom. He grabbed a brush and started brushing his blonde hair back until it became less wild. The blonde proceeded to brush his teeth and splashed cold water on his face. He felt tired and confused but what else was new? The doorbell then rang and Tweek did his best to put on a casual demeanor.

“Let’s skip today!” Tweek immediately said as he opened the door. Craig raised his eyebrows, clearly surprised at the fact Tweek would willingly want to skip. Usually, Craig had to do all the convincing to skip so he and the blonde could go to KFC or miss Gym class.

“Um, okay.” Craig complied as he looked the blonde over. Tweek then grabbed his hand and dragged him inside.They didn’t skip often, only every once and awhile if they were bored or wanted to get food.

“Babe are you okay?” Craig asked, surprised at Tweek‘s sudden forwardness. The blonde slapped on a fake smile as he replied.

“Yeah I’m great, I just don’t want to go to school,” The blond then sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him, indicating Craig to join. Tweek grabbed the remote and turned on an episode of Red Racer. This is going to definitely lure Craig to stay. 

“Fine by me,”. Craig said as he sat next to the blonde, he started to become engrossed in the episode, despite having seen it multiple times.  
Tweek smiled, maybe this was going to be easier than he thought.

So the two teens sat on that couch for hours, watching Red Racer and eating snacks. It wasn’t any different than all the other times they hung out. They practically spent every day together. As soon as Tweek was going to play another episode, Craig got a Snap Chat notification on his phone. The dark haired boy pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

“Ugh hang on, fucking Cartman is snapping me,” Craig said as he rolled his eyes. He opened the snap and it showed Tweek and Craig’s empty desks with the caption: _Yeah Craig!!! Fuck your boy!!!_

“He is so fucking annoying,” Craig said as he turned the camera towards himself to take a picture. A picture of him flipping off the camera. 

“Don’t-“ Tweek screeched as Craig raised his middle finger toward the camera.

Tweek felt himself blackout.

................................................................................  
Tweek arose after hearing his loud alarm, if they ever get out of this thing he’s going to destroy it. He heard his phone chime, he reached over and grabbed it from his nightstand and answered it. Not even checking who it was.

“So what happened this time?” Kenny asked casually. Tweek sighed as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Cartman texted Craig,” Tweek said a little defeated as he shifted into a sitting position.

“Ah, well that’s too bad. That was the longest we made it through,” Kenny pointed out, still sounding calm.

“Ugh, I know!” Tweek practically screeched in frustration.

“It’s okay, just don’t let him get on his phone,” Kenny reassured. 

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?!” Craig always kept his phone in his back pocket, Tweek couldn’t just grab it without drawing suspicion. 

“I don’t know just distract him. Maybe seduce him,” Kenny suggested with a sly voice. Tweek felt his cheeks heat up at the idea, there is no way in hell he could ever seduce Craig!

“N-No way!” Kenny laughed at the other blonde’s flustered state.

“You don’t have to it’s just a suggestion, I mean it would work on me,” Tweek scoffed at Kenny’s flirtatious voice. Kenny was literally the embodiment of horniness.

“Did you find any information on what this is?” Tweek questioned as an attempt to change the subject.

“I actually found a book, did you know South Park has a library?” Tweek rolled his eyes.

“Y-Yes, Kenny, now please continue,”

“Well before I had the chance to read it, the relapse happened,” Kenny said a little annoyed.

“Ack, okay go find it,” Tweek said impatiently, he heard Kenny laugh over the phone.

“Okay, but if it comes down to it, I think if you fuck Craig, he won’t even think about his phone,” 

“Ugh, goodbye Kenny,” Tweek said as he hung up the phone. Thirty minutes later, Tweek heard the sound of the doorbell and wasted no time

“Let’s skip school today!” Tweek said as he opened the door and grabbed Craig’s hand. The blonde immediately started pulling the stoic boy inside before he could react.

“Um, okay,” Craig said as Tweek ushered him to the couch, a confused look plastered on his face.

“Honey, are you feeling okay?” The dark-haired boy asked as Tweek sat on the couch. Tweek gave a fake smile before replying.

“Yeah I’m great I just don’t wanna go,” The blonde said as he grabbed the remote and turned on the T.V. “Cmon let’s watch Red Racer!” 

“Okay.” Craig complied as he sat down next to Tweek and immediately started watching.

Just like before they watch Red Racer and ate snacks for hours. The only difference was the entire time Tweek was debating how to get Craig’s phone. He never took it out of his pocket unless he got a notification and Tweek couldn’t just ask for it. He had his own phone it would seem like he was snooping. Ugh, he needed a break.

“I’m going to get some more coffee,” Tweek said as he grabbed his mug from the side table and began to stand up. Craig looked over at the blond.

“Why? You’re cup is already half full.” The dark-haired boy pointed out, with one eyebrow raised. 

“I-I know I’m going to want some, ack, more later,” Tweek lied as he started walking towards the kitchen. He filled his cup all the way with the warm coffee and took a deep breath. How was he going to prevent Craig from seeing the message? Maybe he should try and seduce him, it would definitely blindside the other boy. Tweek immediately dismissed the idea, it was too awkward to even think about. The blonde then walked out of the kitchen and as he was going to sit down Craig’s phone made a sound, indicating he had a notification. Tweek started to panic internally, he needed to do something now!

“Ugh hang on, fucking Cartman is snapping me,” Craig said as he rolled his eyes, he then unlocked his phone to read the message. Tweek in a moment of frenzy, leaned over Craig and poured all his coffee over the dark haired boy’s phone, completely drenching the device in liquid along with Craig’s clothes. Craig’s eyes widened as he looked at Tweek completely perplexed.

“Babe what the fuck.” Craig said in a monotonous voice, but clearly shocked at what just happened. The front of white shirt was covered in coffee while his phone screen was completely black from the sudden liquid. Tweek took a moment to realize what he just did and just decided to roll with it. 

“I-I’m sorry it s-slipped,” Tweek lied, he contorted his face into a shame filled expression so Craig would buy it was an accident. But really he was relieved to have ruined the phone.

“It’s fine, I’m getting a new phone anyway” Craig said calmly with a sigh as he stood up and started walking to the kitchen.

Once Craig was out of sight Tweek smiled in relief. Sure he purposely poured coffee over his best friend and ruined his phone, but he prevented him from seeing the message. But naturally Tweek celebrated a little too soon. He then heard the doorbell ring while Craig was in the kitchen getting paper towels to wipe his shirt. The blonde started to panic, who could possibly be here? His parents worked from six to three, so it couldn’t be them. Tweek immediately opened the door to reveal two middle aged men, that were obviously pastors.

“Hello, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?” The first pastor asked while the other had a forced smile on his face. Of course Tweek had to deal with this now after he just spilled coffee over Craig. He just needed to get them to leave.

“Um, no, I’m actually a Buddhist so-“ Tweek said a little annoyed as he slowly started closing the door, but the second minister held it open with his hand. Tweek took a step back from the slightly aggressive Christians, clearly a little freaked out.

“Well how would you like to convert?” The other minister asked, desperation in his eyes. Damn, the Church must being doing horrible to be this desperate Tweek thought. Before the blonde had a chance to answer, Craig had beaten him to it.

“He doesn’t,” The stoic boy said as he walked into the living room and stood by his fake boyfriend. The two pastors looked a little nervous at Craig’s glare.

“Y-Yeah I’m pretty good with my beliefs,” Tweek agreed as he grabbed the door handle and slowly started closing the door. The same pastor put his hand on the door to prevent it from shutting. The second one began speaking.

“Well your beliefs are wrong, now-“ The narrow minded man was saying before he was cut off by the dark haired teen.

“Fuck you,” Craig said with venom as he glared at the two middle aged men. Tweek needed to stop this, he knew exactly where this was heading.

“Young man don’t talk back-“ The insistent pastor was cut off by Tweek slamming the door in their unexpected faces. Tweek huffed as he turned to face Craig. The corners of Craig’s lips were slightly raised and his eyes were lit up, he was definitely amused by Tweek’s action. The blonde gave a soft, relieved smile as he felt himself calm down. The two just looked at each other with satisfaction as they began to turn back towards the T.V.

Then the motherfuckers outside began banging on the window next to the door!

“Accept Christ!” The middle aged man yelled as he continued to bang on the window.

Craig scoffed as he began to raise his finger at the demanding men, before Tweek had a chance to respond.

“Fuck,” Tweek said with annoyance as he felt himself black out.

................................................................................


	3. Two blondes make a right

The alarm rang as Tweek angrily rolled over and brought his pillow to his face and screamed into it. Ugh, fuck Craig and his stupid gesture Tweek thought as he took a deep breath. It wasn’t the other boy’s fault, he doesn’t know. Tweek shouldn’t be angry at him.

It was Tweek who didn’t want to tell him in the beginning because he didn’t want the boy to think he was crazy, or that’s what he told himself. But the truth was, he just wanted to figure this whole situation out without the other boy’s help. This whole thing just felt like something he had to figure out on his own along with Kenny. But it’s Kenny, he’s more like the comic relief. Maybe he should just tell Craig and put this whole mystery to rest before he actually does go crazy.

Tweek heard his phone make a sound, that made him snap out of his mental debate. The sound indicated he had received a text. The blonde then leaned over, grabbed the phone, and read it.

_I’m coming over_

Tweek rolled his eyes at Kenny’s message, typical Kenny being spontaneous, the other blonde must already be on his way. Tweek then ungraciously rolled off his bed and walked to his closet. He started pulling on his green sweater and skinny jeans (he was tired of wearing his pajamas all the time). Twenty minutes later, Kenny started knocking on his door. Tweek scurried down the stairs as he opened the door to reveal the other blond casually leaning against the door frame.

“Hey buddy, guess what I got?” Kenny said with a crooked smile. He was waving a medium-sized book that looked relatively old with its brown leather cover. Tweek’s eyes widened as he grabbed the book from the other blonde’s hand as he examined the cover. It had no words just a drawing of a circle.

“I thought the library didn’t open until nine,” Tweek said as he flipped through the pages. He then looked up at Kenny who had a smirk on his face.

“It doesn’t, so I threw a brick through the window and crawled in,”

“Kenny!” Tweek scolded as Kenny began walking inside, completely unfazed by Tweek’s tone.

“It’s fine, look this book was featured in a bunch of websites as being one of the most well-known guides for bending the laws of time and space and how to navigate through it,” Kenny said as he tapped on the cover with a satisfied look on his face. He then proceeded to collapse on the couch.

“That’s, um, pretty specific,” Tweek said as he sat down next to him. Kenny reached over and reclaimed the book and held it up as if it were an achievement.

“Yeah, it also has like really good reviews, like four and a half stars!”

“Why would the library have this?” Tweek questioned, it seemed a little too easy to get a book like this.

“No idea, but for once I guess we’re lucky. Now just try and distract Craig again while I’ll try to finish this.” Tweek sighed, he should probably tell Kenny.

“Look this is amazing, but I’ve been thinking. Maybe we should tell Craig what he’s doing.” Tweek said as he looked at Kenny. He wasn’t even looking up as he flipped through the front pages of the book. Tweek began to speak again.

“He might be a little confused at first, but I think he would believe me and he’ll prevent himself from flipping anyone off!” Kenny stopped at a page in the book and looked up, meeting Tweek’s green eyes.

“We can’t actually,” Kenny stated as if it were a fact. Tweek’s eyes widened as he felt his right eye slightly twitch.

“Why n-not?” Craig would believe him. Though they often joked around, they had a pretty solid foundation of trust. Sure they would lie about little things like who ate the last slice of pizza? Or did you steal my hoodie? But if Tweek was serious about something, Craig would always have his back. It was one of Tweek’s favorite things about Craig, he may not give a fuck about most things, but he was always supportive. He was still an asshole who asked many questions and constantly pointed out flaws in Tweek’s logic, but he tries and Tweek will always appreciate it.

“Because the book says if we tell anyone outside of the loop what’s happening. Their minds won’t be able to handle the complexities of the situation and might burn out or some shit,” Kenny read from the book in his casual voice as if it was no big deal. Tweek felt his eyes widen.

“Oh my god!” Kenny sighed as he looked up at the frantic blonde with a neutral look on his face.

“So Craig would probably believe you, but he might get brain damage or die,”

“I don’t want him to die! Tweek screeched as he clutched his hair with his long fingers.

“I’d hope not he is your boyfriend,” Kenny pointed out, Tweek stood up and began pacing.

“What else does it say? Anything about why this is happening?” Kenny shrugged as he continued to casually lay on the couch.

“I don’t know, I’m only on chapter three, this thing has like thirty chapters.” Tweek stopped and looked directly at Kenny.

“How are you only on chapter three? I distracted Craig for four hours yesterday!” Tweek said incredulously.

“I’m sorry, I don’t like to read, if your such a good reader you do it,” Kenny said with annoyance as he tossed the book at Tweek. The blonde caught the book and looked up at Kenny.

“What about Craig?” Tweek asked in confusion, if he read this then how would he prevent Craig from flipping someone off?

“I’ll lock him in a closet, he was in there before I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a few more hours,” Kenny joked as he nudges his shoulder in the direction of the hall closet. Tweek rolled his eyes at the obvious gay joke and opened his mouth to respond.

“He would still flip you off, even if he couldn’t see your face,”

“Okay, I’ll sneak up on him from behind and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious!” Kenny said as he made the motion of swinging a baseball bat. Tweek genuinely couldn’t tell if the other blond was joking.

“I will not let you give him brain damage!” Tweek shouted as his face contorted in anger.

“What? It’s not like we’re going to face the consequence, we’ll just keep repeating,” Kenny said with a little more annoyance rising in his voice.

“Don’t say that nothing stays forever,”

“Maybe not for you,” Kenny shot back as he rolled his eyes.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Tweek asked as Kenny stood up.

“Just worse things happen that’s all,” Tweek scoffed at his words.

“Ugh, are you kidding me?!” Kenny looked up, surprised at Tweek’s newfound anger. He was about to retort, but Tweek beat him to it.

“I know, I know, war, famine, and all that shit but being trapped in some kind of fucked up time sequence is a pretty fucking bad situation!” Tweek exclaimed with his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes shooting daggers.

“Okay let’s just drop it,” Kenny said solemnly as he turned to walk away, but Tweek grabbed his arm.

“No please enlighten me. What’s worse than going through the same shit over and over?”

“Stop!” Kenny loudly said, as if it struck a nerve. Tweek let go of his arm as his eyes widened. Kenny sighed as he began to speak.

“Tweek um there’s something I should probably tell you. This isn’t my first time being in a loop,” Kenny confessed, Tweek was stunned at the news and didn’t say a word. They stood in heavy silence for about a minute before Tweek punched the other blonde in the arm.

“Ow!” Kenny exclaimed as he rubbed his arm.

“You motherfucker, why didn’t you tell me?!” Tweek yelled, that information would’ve been really helpful.

“Because it’s not like this one, it’s kinda different,”

“Just say it,” Tweek demanded.

“I can’t die.” Kenny confessed his voice dangerously low.

“W-what?” Tweek asked, not sure if he heard that right.

“I can’t die,” He repeated and began telling his origin story.

“My idiot parents crashed a cult meeting while my mom was pregnant. Now I practically get killed once a week and come back to life.” Kenny paused and looked at Tweek. His eyes were still wide and his mouth was agape in shock. The other blonde continued.

“I wake up in my bed as soon as it happens and no one ever remembers, even people who witnessed me die don’t remember.” Kenny took a deep breath and lowered his eyes.

“I've been shot, stabbed, poisoned, almost everything in the book,” Kenny said as if he’s said it a million times before.

“Oh, Kenny. I’m so sorry,” Tweek said guiltily. He had always thought Kenny was just a horny slacker. But he went through some of the most traumatic shit and yet he still always has a positive attitude. Kenny looked up with a tight expression.

“It’s not your fault, no one remembers or has ever believed me,” Kenny sighed as he leaned his head back on the couch. Tweek began speaking softly.

“I do, now you have someone who believes you,” Kenny looked up at Tweek, but the blonde kept talking.

“I shouldn’t have been so inconsiderate in the first place. I thought maybe you were comparing this to not getting laid,” Tweek said, he looked over at Kenny and almost immediately the two blondes began laughing. It was weird to laugh in this kind of situation, but Tweek was getting tired of being completely stressed all the time.

“That sounds like me,” Kenny said as he gave Tweek a small smile, then the doorbell rang. Tweek stood up in a panic, his eyes big as he looked towards the door. They had talked for thirty minutes and completely forgot about Craig.

“It’s Craig hide!” He yelled at Kenny, but the other blonde quickly rose to his feet and grabbed Tweek’s shoulders.

“No I have an idea, just stall for a second,” Kenny said as he released the shoulders and ran into the kitchen. Tweek ran to the door and took a deep breath before opening.

“Hey, babe,” Craig greeted monotonously as he looked at the blonde. Before he could respond, Kenny casually walked out of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

“Why’s Kenny here?” Craig asked as he stared at the two blondes with an irritation in his eyes. Kenny nudged Tweek as a reminder to speak.

“We, um, talk sometimes.” Tweek weakly lied while Kenny remained silent.

“At seven-fifty in the morning?”

“Y-Yeah.” The dark-haired boy didn’t look convinced, Kenny then swung an arm around Tweek’s waist and began to speak.

“Actually we should just tell him Tweek,” The other blonde said while Craig glared at Kenny for touching his fake boyfriend.

“No way!” Tweek exclaimed, he couldn’t risk Craig getting brain damage from the truth!

“Tell me,” Craig demanded, obviously running out of patience and might possibly kill Kenny.

“We’re sleeping together,” Kenny announces as Tweek felt his jaw drop. That was his plan? Goddammit they were about to repeat. Tweek looked up at Craig who had an indistinguishable look on his face.

“What?” The stoic boy asked as Kenny removes his arm from Tweek’s waist and began walking out the door.

“Tweek will now tell you all the details, I gotta go.” Craig looked at the blonde and crossed his arms, waiting for an explanation.

“What?! No, we aren’t we just-“ Tweek was cut off by Kenny tackling Craig, knocking the tall boy to floor. Tweek moved before he was taken down just in time.

“What the fuck,” Craig exclaimed as Kenny pulled a white rag out of the pocket of his orange jacket. He then pressed a rag to Craig’s nose despite the dark haired boy struggling. Tweek just watched completely in shock.

“Shhhhh, go to sleep,” Kenny said as Craig’s eyes rolled back and his body went limp. Kenny then stood up and faced Tweek who looked completely mortified and opened his mouth to speak.

“D-Did you just-“ Kenny cut him off.

“Look it’s just for a couple of hours we just need to talk and this way we don’t have to worry about him,” Tweek knelt down and checked Craig’s pulse to see if he was still alive, he was. Tweek sighed in relief.

“You can’t just go around drugging people!” Tweek yelled as he placed a hand on Craig’s forehead and moved some of his dark hair out of the way.

“It’s just chloroform, he’ll be fine. I do it to myself all the time.” Kenny reassured, Tweek grabbed Craig by under the arms, attempting to pick him up.

“Fuck, help me get him on the couch!” Kenny grabbed Craig’s ankles and they began carrying him to the couch.

“Shit how is he so heavy, he practically has no body fat?” Kenny complained while Tweek rolled his eyes.” They laid Craig on the couch and Kenny dropped the white, chloroform cloth at the end of the couch.

“How does he still look emotionless even when he’s asleep?” Kenny questioned, Tweek looked at the passed out teen, his face was as stoic as ever, but it was still cute. The blonde blushed at his thought and quickly looked away.

“Gay,” Kenny said as he gave Tweek a knowing look. Tweek scoffed as he felt his cheeks continuing to heat up.

“S-Says the pansexual, come on let's get to work,” So the two began working for thirty minutes trying to find similarities or something that connected them.

“There has to be a reason why we’re both going through this together. What could we possibly have in common?” Tweek questioned as he pulled out a notebook and pen to make another list.

“We’re both blonde,” Kenny stated as he brushed his sandy hair back with his fingers, in an attempt to look sexy. Tweek rolled his eyes at the other boy’s charms.

“Yeah that’s true we kinda look alike,” Tweek agreed as he added it to the list. It was true, the blondes were practically the same height at 5ft 8 and had pale skin. The only noticeable difference was Tweek had a little more of a lean build to him compared to Kenny’s skinny body.

“We both look really good in skinny jeans,” Kenny pointed out as he pulled on a devilish smirk.

“Ack, Kenny!” Tweek exclaimed as he pushed the other blonde to the side.

“What, it’s true.” The other blonde defended with a laugh.

“We’re both in Garrison’s class,” Tweek said as an attempt to change the subject, but also because his class was known for causing chaos.

“We both wanna fuck Craig,” Kenny said as he pointed to the unconscious boy.

“No!” Tweek screeched as he felt his face started to burn with embarrassment. Kenny laughed at the reaction before opening his mouth to speak.

“I’m kidding Tweek, well not really your boyfriend is pretty hot but so are you. Actually, I change my answer, I wanna fuck both of you.” Tweek’s face continued to burn, he knew Kenny was horny, but wow. Even when they're stuck in a time loop, Kenny wants to fulfill his fantasies.

“That is n-not helpful information!”

“Well it could be a theory, maybe the universe is trying to bring us together as the world’s hottest threesome.”

“No way- wait! Do you think a higher power is doing this to us?!” Tweek inferred as he began scribbling in his notebook.

“Could be a possibility, I mean we have seen aliens, magic and I’ve personally met Satan himself”

“Check the book” Tweek said.

“Ugh, fine” As Kenny sifted through the pages of the book, Tweek started to ponder questions out loud as he paced.

“What would there possibly be to gain from this happening to us?”

“Entertainment?” Kenny guessed.

“Maybe,”

“Revenge?”

“Kenny what did you do?”

“Nothing that’s kinda my go-to reason, I mean I spend way to much time with Cartman,” Kenny said while rolling his eyes. He then looked over at the unconscious teen.

“Maybe Craig did something.” Kenny said as he looked at the unconscious boy on the couch. Tweek scoffed at the suggestion.

“No way, he doesn’t ever get involved in that shit.” Tweek said with certainty.

“Maybe not intentionally, but he did once accidentally stop Giant guinea pigs from taking over the world by shooting lasers out of his eyes.” Kenny pointed out as Tweek bit his lip anxiously.

“Okay, maybe we should question him.” So the two spent about twenty minutes coming up with questions to ask the stoic boy when he woke up. It didn’t take long for him to start groaning, indicating him coming out of his unconscious state. Kenny went into the kitchen while Tweek remained sitting in the arm chair next to the couch. Craig slowly rose up obviously disoriented, once he saw Tweek he began to speak.

“Ugh, what happened?” He asked as he rubbed his temples. Tweek walked over and handed him a cup of water.

“Oh, you, um, fainted,” The blonde said as Craig took the cup and drank the water. He was out for like two hours, Craig looked up with confusion.

“Really?” Tweek nodded.

“Shit. Why didn’t you call an ambulance?”

“Y-You seemed fine so I-I thought I’d wait it out,” Tweek lied while Craig shifted to a sitting position on the couch. Tweek proceeded to sit next to him.

“Maybe not your best idea, but I guess it’s fine,” Craig responded as he stretched his neck muscles. Tweek swallowed as he opened his mouth to speak.

“S-So, I have some questions,” Craig turned to look at Tweek casually.

“Um, okay about what?” The dark haired boy questioned.

“I’ll tell you after you answer,” Craig raised an eyebrow, but let the blonde continue.

“Alright,” Tweek pulled out a small notebook and began reading.

“Have you recently flipped off anyone that could have powers that alternate time.” Craig’s eyebrows raised at the weirdly specific question, but answered.

“No, why?” Tweek grabbed a pen and crossed the question off the list.

“Not important, um, have you done anything that might involve Kenny?”

“What? No.” Tweek crosses that off as well.

“You haven’t found any cursed relics or objects right?,”

“Where would I get a cursed relic?” Craig questioned, Tweek looked up.

“Yes or no?”

“Um, no. Honey, what’s with the questions?” Tweek ignored his question as he kept reading off the list.

“Have you done anything out of the ordinary recently?”

“Other than having this conversation, no.” Tweek sighed as he crossed the last one off the list.

“Now please tell me what the fuck is happening.” Craig said in his monotonous voice and Tweek prepared himself to lie.

“Oh, i-I’ve been feeling,um, paranoid lately that something abnormal is going to happen,” Tweek lied as he avoided eye contact. It wasn’t that untrue, even before this while repeat thing happened, he was paranoid about chaos reappearing.

“Babe it’s okay, nothing is going to happen and even if it does I’ll be here to help you through it,” Craig reassured as he placed his hand on the blonde’s. Tweek looked at their hands a little bewildered at the gesture and felt his cheeks start to blush. He intertwined his fingers with Craig’s as he looked up at the other boy. Craig gave a tiny smile (which was very rare) as he started to lean forward. Tweek felt his heart stop, was he leaning in to kiss him? Tweek’s eyes widened and before he had time to react, Craig stopped.

“What’s that next to you?” Craig asked bluntly, killing the mood as he stared at the white cloth next to Tweek. He reached over, grabbed it without any warning, and examined it. Tweek realized it was the chloroform and immediately grabbed it back. Craig’s eyes widened as he connected the dots.

“Wait did you-“ Before the dark haired boy could answer Tweek pounced on him and shoved the cloth to his nose. Craig struggled, but Tweek was stronger as he straddled the boy.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Tweek kept repeating as Craig slowly went unconscious. Kenny walked out of the kitchen after hearing to commotion and smirked.

“Not a word,” Tweek said as he moved off Craig’s lap.

“Well, I guess you don’t want to hear about the information I just read,” Kenny teased as he waved the book.

“Okay, you can speak,”

”I made it to chapter four which is all about causes. It listed the four main reasons of a time loop are: to teach someone a lesson, punishment, to prevent something, or to create a bond.”

“O-Okay that’s a lot to unload,” Tweek said as he paused before opening his mouth to speak again.

“Let’s start with the first one, what would we learn from this?”

“Craig has a problem,” Kenny stated,

“Besides that,”

“There doesn’t really seem to be a good message, other than don’t flip someone off, but people have done worse things.” Kenny pointed out as he pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket.

“Ugh, your right. Ok moving on: punishment,”

“I haven’t done anything for once,” Kenny said confidently like he was at an AA meeting. He lit the cigarette and inhaled as Tweek replied.

“Neither have I or Craig, so it’s not that,” Tweek said as he crossed it off the list.

“Cant be number three, we’re preventing Craig from flipping someone off. It really wouldn’t be the end of the world if he did,” Kenny concluded and Tweek nodded in agreement.

“Y-Yeah, so I guess that leaves the last one,”

“I’d say we’ve been bonding, maybe it just needs to be more physical,” Kenny said with a wink.

“No! But you had a point at first, I just don’t feel like that’s why we’re doing this,”

“What about Craig, do we need to bond with him?” Kenny asked and handed the cigarette to Tweek.

“No offense Kenny, but Craig kinda hates you. I don’t think any kind of bonding will change that,” Tweek said and both blondes laughed at that.

“I know, it’s cool,” Tweek inhaled the smoke and handed it back to Kenny.

“Plus I’ve known Craig for years, we practically know everything about each other,” Tweek said confidently.

It was true Tweek knew all Craig’s like and dislikes. He hates chaos, the four idiots and coffee (Tweek thinks that’s insane). His favorite color is blue and his least is red because according to him it’s “too loud”. He loves Red Racer so much that he’s seen every episode at least three times, but won’t start a new show. His Guinea pig Stripe is also very important to the stoic boy, Tweek sees him every day so naturally Tweek loves him too. Though he’ll try and deny it, he’s a big space geek. Whenever Tweek sleeps over he’ll point out the constellations mapped out on his bedroom ceiling in glow and the dark stars. Tweek smiled at his amount knowledge, if that’s not a bond he doesn’t know what is. He looked over at Craig who was literally passed out on the couch and Tweek felt the corners of his lips rise.

“You know I’m really jealous of you guy’s relationship,” Kenny said, breaking the silence as he looked at the two.

“If you say something sexual, I’ll punch you in the face,” Tweek threatened as the other blond laughed at his seriousness.

“No, I mean, you two really care about each other, you always have, ever since we were kids. I kinda wish I had that with someone,” Kenny said with a wistful expression. Tweek felt guilty, even though he and Craig had lied to everyone for years. It just felt wrong to lie to Kenny after everything they’ve talked about. Tweek sighed as he looked back at Craig’s sleeping face.

“Craig and I aren’t dating,” The blonde admitted as he looked up to meet Kenny’s eyes. The other blonde’s face looked beyond shocked as he slowly opened his mouth.

“What?” Kenny asked in total disbelief, his eyes wide as they flickered between the two teens.

Tweek proceeded to tell Kenny everything about their fake relationship. How they were practically forced into it by the town and they only kept it going to boost morale. By the end of it, Kenny was speechless for once.

“So the constant hand-holding and the pet names were all fake?” Kenny asked incredulously.

“Y-Yeah,” Tweek responded shakily as he scratched the back of his neck.

“But you guys practically spend every second together!”

“We’re just good friends,”

“Are you serious? Because Craig doesn’t look at you like just a friend,” Kenny stated as he crossed his arms unconvinced.

“He’s faking it!” Kenny scoffed and opened his mouth to speak.

“Craig is a shitty actor and we both know it,” Tweek paused, not knowing how to respond.

“Have you ever thought about it?” Kenny asked, breaking the silence.

“Thought of what?” Tweek questioned.

“You know actually being with him.”

Tweek would be lying to say he hasn't, considering how close they were. They already acted like a couple with minus the kissing. The blonde knew he was gay, but he never really wanted to act on it, how the Asians knew before he did kinda scared him. It was some sort of cruel irony that he was in a fake gay relationship with his best friend while he was actually gay. So every time the thought of kissing or doing something a little more physical appeared in his mind, he would deny. Kenny began to speak, which promptly broke Tweek out of his deep thought.

“It’s just weird to me that Craig, who doesn’t give a single fuck about what anyone thinks, is so focused on what the people of the town think. To be in a fake relationship with you for several years.

Before Tweek could really process Kenny’s words, Craig started shifting in his sleep.

“He’s waking up! Oh god, he’s definitely going to remember!” Tweek frantically said as Craig’s eyes began fluttering open.

“Hold on I got this,” Kenny said as he moved towards Craig.

“Ugh, what happened?” The stoic boy asked with a groan.

“Hey, baby,” Kenny said in a sultry voice.

Tweek felt himself blackout.

.................................................................

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I shouldn’t be to long with the next chapter, I got this all planned out!!!!


	4. Knives and confessions

Five times, five times, Tweek has tried to prevent Craig from flipping anyone off by keeping him inside, none of them have worked. He had to break his phone, ignore annoying Christians, move locations because his parents came home and Craig couldn’t resist flipping his dad off. Then they went to Craig’s house, but Tweek discovered Craig’s little sister was also skipping which led to the siblings flipping each other off. Tweek was already desperate, so all the failed attempts were not easing his anxiety.

“Maybe you’re supposed to leave the house,” Kenny said as he pulled an egg out of the fridge and walked over to the stove. It was currently seven-thirty in the morning and the two were having their usual daily discussion about the day before. Tweek was scribbling in his notebook on what caused the previous time loop while Kenny made breakfast. The anxious blonde questionably looked up at the suggestion and opened his mouth to speak.

“What?” Tweek closed his notebook to give the other blonde his full attention. Kenny cracked the egg into the pan as he responded.

“Like maybe you’re supposed to live through the day like any other,” Kenny said while burning the eggs, he failed home economics for a reason. 

“N-No way, Craig could flip off anyone,” Tweek pointed out as he opened the kitchen window to prevent the smoke alarm from going off. 

“Well staying in hasn’t been working, you have any other ideas?” Kenny asked as he transferred the eggs from the pan into two plates. He then walked over and placed a plate in front of the exasperated blond. 

“Ugh fine,” Tweek said as he took a bite of the blackened eggs in front of him, they tasted like death.

So Tweek tried the new method, four times. Just like staying at home, new obstacles would randomly appear and it was annoying as hell. Whether it was invasive shippers or lousy teachers. People would show up, make the teens uncomfortable and Craig would inevitably flip them off. 

“Hey babe, um, where’s your stuff?” Craig questioned as he saw the blonde leave the house without his backpack. Since Tweek already knew exactly what time Craig would arrive, he met him outside because if he had to hear that doorbell one more time, he’ll destroy it just like his alarm clock.

“I don’t need it, let’s go,” Tweek answered quickly as he slid his hand into Craig’s and began walking. The taller boy followed a little surprised but didn’t question the blonde’s abrupt attitude.

“Okay,”

The duo arrived at the school and the first twenty minutes of class happened exactly like before. Garrison ranted about the Oscars, gave a pop quiz causing the class to complain. Craig then slid his hand into Tweek’s despite the blonde being fine. The perverted teacher noticed the action and began to complain, just like clockwork.

“Craig let go of Tweek’s hand and take your quiz,” 

“No,” Craig responded flatly as usual. 

“I will fail you both!” Garrison threatened as he crossed his arms. Tweek scoffed at the overly dramatic teacher and continued to grip Craig’s hand while opening his mouth to speak.

“Actually let’s go, Craig,” Tweek said casually as he stood up still holding his hand. 

“What?” The stoic boy questioned as the blonde started to slightly pull him out of his chair. The entire class was watching intently, Kenny was smiling ear from ear at the other blonde’s confidence. Garrison looked as if he was going to blow a fuse. 

“You two can’t just leave!” The middle-aged man screeched, Tweek rolled his eyes as he continued to hold Craig’s hand. The stoic boy was astounded by Tweek’s newfound attitude, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Yeah we can, go ahead and fail us I really don’t care,” Tweek said obviously annoyed, Craig remained silent while looking in awe at the blonde, the corners of his mouth twitched upward.

“What the hell?” Cartman said as Tweek led Craig out the door and into the hallway.

”Um, what was that?” Craig finally asked as he stopped the blonde and looked him in his green eyes.

”What?”

”Whatever the fuck just happened in there,”

“Did you want to take the quiz?” Tweek asked as he kept leading Craig down the hallway.

“No, but-“ Tweek cut him off.

“Look we weren’t prepared and we’re gonna fail anyway so fuck it, let’s go have fun,” 

“Who are you and what have you done with Tweek?” Craig asked as he examined Tweek up and down, making sure he wasn’t an alien or something.

“I’m still here. Why don’t like it?” Tweek said playfully and gripped Craig’s hand.

“I definitely didn’t say that,” Craig defended as a smirk rose on his face.

“Come on let’s get some food,”

So the two ended up at KFC despite it being nine in the morning. It was nice, eating while complaining about Garrison’s unnatural obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio, well until the shippers arrived. The couple looked about middle aged as they stood infront of their table.

“Honey look it’s Tweek and Craig,” The woman said in awe while the husband pulled out his phone. 

“Aw, let me get a picture-,” Before Craig had the chance to flip the annoying shippers off Tweek grabbed his hand and spoke up.

“Mind your own fucking business,” The blonde snapped at the annoying couple. Craig’s jaw dropped while the shippers looked mortified. Before they had a chance to respond, Tweek beat them to it.

“We’re trying to eat, so leave us alone and focus on your own boring lives,” Tweek was never this mean, but he knew where this conversation was heading and decided this was the best route to go down. He had already done this twice so it was pretty easy and it was a little fun seeing their reactions.

“Dude I think you made them cry,” Craig whispered as they watched the shippers walk out of the restaurant actually crying. 

“They’re fine, serves them right,” Tweek said as he saw the corners of Craig’s lips twitch upward, the stoic teen was obviously enjoying this. The fake couple soon finished eating and left.

“So you want to go see that new alien movie?” Tweek asked already knowing the other boy’s answer.

“Sure, but I don’t have any cash,”

“Let’s just sneak in,” Tweek suggested as he started walking towards the movie theater, guiding Craig by the hand. Craig’s eyes slightly widened as he let the blonde lead him.

“What?” Tweek smirked as he looked back at his confused, fake boyfriend.

Sneaking into places is really easy when you’ve done it multiple times beforehand. Seeing this movie was the only way to keep Craig occupied for two and a half hours so Tweek had to get creative. He knew exactly how to sneak past the middle-aged manager with ease while snagging a large popcorn just for fun. He has been spending way to much time with Kenny.

“How the hell did you manage to do that so easily?” Craig asked once they sat in their seats. Since it was eleven o clock on a Thursday it was really easy to find good seats. Tweek shrugged and opened his mouth to lie.

“Luck, I guess,”

Tweek had seen the movie twice by now so it was a little annoying knowing exactly what was going to happen. But he liked looking over at Craig’s reactions. The way his eyes lit up at the space-related themes. It was cute the way he watched so intently with the corners of his lips slightly twitching upwards. Or when the movie was in factually correct, Craig would roll his eyes in annoyance and that made Tweek smirk.

Despite no one being in the theater, Craig slid his hand into Tweek’s that was resting on the armrest without taking his eyes off the screen. The blonde expected the action and wasn’t as surprised as the first time. Tweek gripped the hand as he felt his heart rate speed up. They just sat there silently throughout the duration of the film until it was over. After the movie, they stopped at a Harbucks so Tweek could grab some coffee. They couldn’t go to Tweek bro’s because Craig hated Tweek’s dad and flips him off every chance he got. Tweek didn’t blame him, his dad was the worst.

“The director had no knowledge of star systems, like seriously how do you mix up Sirius with Procyon?” Craig complained as Tweek took a sip from his second cup of coffee. They were sitting at a table in the far back of the shop, talking about the movie or rather Craig critiquing it while Tweek smirked.

“What?” Craig asked as he saw Tweek’s half side grin. 

“Nothing just wow you’re a nerd,” The blonde said with a laugh as Craig kicked him under the table.

“Shut up, you know the difference too,” Only because you taught me, Tweek thought as he glanced at his phone, the time showed four forty five. It’s official this was the longest they’ve lasted. Tweek inhaled as he prepared for the next obstacle. Then on cue, Eric Cartman entered the Coffee shop.

“Motherfucker,” Tweek muttered as he grabbed Craig’s hand while Cartman was in line and started pulling him towards the door. The dark haired boy gave a questionable look until Tweek wordlessly tilted his head in Cartman’s direction, Craig rolled his eyes as he understood Tweek’s wanting to leave and both teens left the shop. The fat ass noticed the power couple leave and slapped on a sickly fake smile. He completely abandoned his place in line as he quickly followed the couple outside.

“Well if it isn’t-“ Before Cartman could finish what he was going to say, Tweek threw his drink on Cartman, brown liquid completely drenching his clothes. After getting over the initial shock, Craig started to laugh as Cartman’s face heated up with anger.

“TWEEK WHAT THE FUCK!” Cartman screeched, Tweek attempted to formulate a plan, this was the farthest he’s ever gotten so he had no idea what to do.

“O-Oops,” Tweek replied as Craig laughed even harder holding Tweek’s arm for support. Cartman was huge after constantly injecting himself with steroids to become “buff”. It worked, now he was strong and fat, the blonde was definitely intimidated by it.

“YOU FUCKER, IM GOING TO-“

“Run!” Tweek shouted as he grabbed Craig’s arm and began running. Tweek was always a fast runner, Craig on the other hand could never keep up as he heavily panted. They ran or rather Tweek dragged Craig for three blocks before rounding the corner of the block. Tweek pulled Craig behind a wooden fence as a makeshift hiding spot.

“Holy shit,” Craig breathed out as he slowly fell to the ground still heavily panting. He then moved into a sitting position with his back against the fence. Tweek promptly sat next to the out of breath teen.

“Do you think we lost him,” The blonde asked quietly as he looked over at Craig. 

“Yeah he might be on a fuck ton of steroids, but he still can’t run for shit,” Craig said as a matter of fact. The two were now sitting close, backs against the fence with their thighs touching. The sun was starting to set due to it almost being winter but luckily it hadn’t snowed yet, it was still cold as hell though.

“S-Shit it’s cold,” Tweek complained as he crossed his arms in front of his chest as a way to stop himself shivering. Craig looked over and rolled his eyes.

“Well if you bothered to bring a jacket you’d be fine,” Tweek scoffed at the sadistic asshole and punched him in the arm.

“Fuck,” Craig said as he rubbed his arm while Tweek laughed. The two sat in a comfortable silence as the sky darkened. Craig tilted his head towards blonde and broke the silence.

“You know other than the fact Cartman might kill us, today has been fun,”

“You’re only saying that because we broke a lot of rules,”

“Nah, I always like hanging out with you,” Craig said as Tweek felt his pulse rise. “But, breaking the rules is a nice perk,” He quickly added and Tweek slightly jabbed him in the arm.

“Y-You know we hang out every day,” Tweek pointed out as a form a tension surrounded the two.

“Today felt different,” Craig quietly admitted as he turned his head to the side to look at Tweek’s face. Dark blue eyes met slightly widened green ones, Craig bit his lip before he opened his mouth to speak.

“Tweak I-“ Craig was cut off.

“Found you homos!” Cartman bellowed as both boys pushed away from each other.

Tweek felt himself blackout.

................................................................................

“Ugh I’m sick of this, even when I constantly die at least I can move on with my life,” Kenny said with a groan as he laid flatly on Tweek’s couch. He had immediately came over after the repeat, clearly annoyed their plan had failed once again. Tweek sighed, they were so close. Only seven hours away from the day being over and of course, Cartman had to ruin it. 

“I know we were, ack, so close,” Tweek said as he buried his face in his hands out of pure frustration. 

“I could just cut his fingers off,” 

“No, Kenny,” Tweek responded with irritation, he had gotten used to Kenny’s gruesome ideas by now. 

“It would work, I’ve had mine chopped off before. It would be pretty easy we just need a saw,” Kenny said with determination as he walked into the kitchen.

“We are not cutting off his fingers,” Tweek said abruptly as he quickly followed Kenny, fully aware of his motive. Kenny sifted through the cabinet drawers until he found the one he was looking for. He then proceeded to reach inside and pull out a large butcher knife. Tweek’s eyes widened at the sight of the sharp object and how Kenny was holding it so casually.

“Not all of them just the two middle ones,”

“No,” Kenny huffed and crossed his arms, knife still in hand.

“I've read every page of this book twice and it has nothing. I’m just saying maybe we need a more drastic solution,”

“Okay, so what if it does work? Craig won’t have his fingers!”

“Like I said just the two middle ones, he won’t need them,” At that precise moment the doorbell rang, both blondes looked at each other before Kenny bolted towards the door leaving Tweek to closely follow. Kenny then swung the door open and immediately pounced on Craig.

“H-“ Craig was cut off by Kenny tackling him to the ground. 

“Shit!” Tweek screeched as he saw Kenny straddle Craig while holding the knife handle between his teeth.

“Ow, Kenny what the fuck,” Craig groaned Kenny shifted his weight on Craig’s stomach, pinning his left arm under his knee while holding his right arm over his head. The stoic boy looked up in obvious anger only to see Kenny take the knife out from between his teeth and gripped it in his right hand.

“Is that a knife?” Craig asked cautiously as Kenny sharply inhaled.

“This will be fast I promise,”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Craig yelled as Kenny positioned the knife over Craig’s fingers.

“I’m sorry-“ Kenny was cut off by Tweek pushing him off Craig. 

“No Kenny!” Tweek shouted as he pined the blond to the ground.

“Tweek we have no other choice,” Kenny exclaimed under Tweek’s weight. Tweek never thought he would have to wrestle a knife from Kenny while Craig watched utterly confused but there’s a first for everything. Tweek grabbed the knife from Kenny’s cold hand and threw it to the side. 

“Kenny you are not going to chop them off!” Tweek exclaimed as he slowly started picking himself off the other blonde. Kenny rised to a sitting position and Tweek offered a hand to pull him up, Kenny accepted the gesture.

“What the fuck is happening?” Craig asked incredulously as he glared daggers at Kenny. 

“Please just go Kenny,” Tweek pleaded as the chaotic blonde rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” Kenny breathed as he turned and ran before Craig murdered him.

“You motherfucker get back here!” Craig yelled as Kenny ran down the street, not looking back. The stoic boy rolled his eyes and turned to direct his attention to his fake boyfriend. 

“What the fuck was that?”

“N-Nothing,” Tweek denied as he avoided piercing blue eyes, Craig angrily scoffed.

“Nothing really? Because McCormick just tried to cut my fucking fingers off and you seem to have known-“ Tweek cut Craig off.

“Just flip me off already,” Tweek pleaded in defeat as he grabbed Craig’s wrist and held the stoic boy's hand in front of his chest, waiting for him to make the gesture.

“What?” 

“You’re going to do it eventually, ack, just do it now so I don’t have to try and explain all this fucked up shit,” Tweek said as he attempted to push Craig’s middle finger up to make the gesture for him.

“You are acting so fucking weird right now and not just your usual amount of weird,” Craig stated as he pulled his hand away from the blonde’s grasp.

“No I’m not,” Tweek defended, Craig scoffed while crossing his arms.

“Yes, you are. You look exhausted, you’re angry and I know I’m not good at this whole emotion thing, but something is wrong,” 

“Tell me,” Craig demanded as he crossed his arms and cocked his eyebrow. 

“I can’t.” 

“Why?”

“I, ack, really can’t,”

“Tweek look as gay as it sounds, I’m fucking worried about you,” Craig admitted as he placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder, attempting to help him relax.

“Just tell me.” He said in a slightly softer voice as he unconsciously rubbed small circles with his thumb on Tweek’s shoulder. Tweek blinked before he scoffed in annoyance.

“Why do you care? Jesus, you’re acting like you’re my actual boyfriend,” The blonde exclaimed as Craig’s face dropped from a concerned expression back to his usual stoic face. Tweek couldn’t help the outburst, he was angry, tired, and quite frankly wanted to punch Craig in his stupidly handsome face.

“I’m not,” Craig simply said as he let go of Tweek’s shoulder and slid both his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you,” Craig added before Tweek’s face fell, a silence fell between the two before Tweek deeply exhaled.

“W-Why are we still doing this?” Tweek asked in an exhausted voice.

“Because you won’t tell me what’s wrong,” Craig stated in his flat voice as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“No, not that. Why are we still pretending to be in a relationship?” Craig’s eyes widened at Tweek’s question, obviously not prepared for it. The stoic boy had averted his eyes from Tweek’s sharp gaze. 

“Because of the town,” Craig replied quietly, still avoiding eye contact, he was a terrible liar. This was a conversation both knew they were eventually going to have, but the teens avoided it like the plague. Tweek sighed as he ran a hand through his short blond hair.

“It’s been several years Craig! We can break this off and you can finally date someone else without the town going crazy!” The blonde exclaimed, he had often repressed the thought of Craig dating someone else. The idea of Craig holding hands with someone else, calling them babe or honey, made Tweek want to vomit.

“I don’t want to date someone else,” Craig simply replied, disgust hinted in his voice as he looked up to meet Tweek’s eye. The blonde felt his eyebrows raise in surprise, was he being fucking serious?

“What?! From elementary school to middle school, all you talked about was wanting a girlfriend!” That was true, from the ages nine to thirteen Craig would constantly talk about which girls were the hottest and who he wanted to make out with. It was a weird time, but Tweek understood he preferred girls so he just listened. It was so awkward at the time, being preteens and going through puberty. But after the acne cleared up, voices dropped and both grew taller Craig just stopped talking about girls. Completely out of nowhere he never brought up the idea of having a girlfriend ever again. Also around that time, Craig started coming over every chance he had. Whether it was walking with Tweek to school or talking to him while he was working at Tweak Bros, they spent practically every day together. It was as if a switch went off in Craig that made him change his focal points. Craig’s face contorted to something that looked slightly confused as he opened his mouth to retort.

“No, I didn’t,” Tweek scoffed as he took a step forward and sharply pressed his finger to Craig’s chest. 

“Yes, you did.” He angrily accused as Craig remained silent. The stoic boy just stood there looking at Tweek with a frown as if he was trying to prevent himself from talking. Tweek inhaled, he needed to get this over with. 

“L-let's just break up, we can remain friends without the hand-holding and pet names,” Tweek cringed at his own words, it felt really wrong.

“No,” Tweek’s eyebrows rose in surprise at Craig’s response.

“You can easily find someone, I know at least half the girls at school like you-“ Craig cut him off.

“Not interested,” The dark-haired teen said a little more irritated as he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. 

“Why?! You’re free to finally be in a relationship that’s not fake, don’t you want that?!” Tweek loudly interrogated, why was Craig making this so fucking hard? Sure the town would be sad, but fuck them! Their lives shouldn’t be dictated on what other people want. Tweek is so fucking done with this time loop thing and always having to pretend. Craig didn’t want to be with Tweek like that and it was fine for the blonde. But the fact Craig wants to keep this lie going kinda hurts. He would miss the physical contact or the generic pet names, but at least in the back of his mind, he wouldn’t have to keep reminding himself it was fake. He wouldn’t have to confront that weird feeling inside of him every time he was near Craig and could keep denying it without ever having to act on it. Tweek would pretend it never happened.

“No you asshole, I only want to be with you!” Craig yelled, breaking from his usual monotonous tone. He immediately snapped his mouth shut as if he instantly regretted the words that came out. 

Tweek just stood there looking like a deer in the headlights with his mouth agape, eyes wide and completely shocked at what he had just heard. The tension could be cut with a knife as both boys stared at each other, not knowing what to do or say. The blonde loudly swallowed and opened his mouth to shakily speak.

“W-What?” Craig sighed as if he wanted to be anywhere else. He glanced at Tweek, trying to suppress an emotion forming onto his face, but failing to do so. He looked defeated, like nothing he could say could take back what he had unintentionally confessed.

“Goddammit, I can’t do this,” Craig muttered as he turned and began walking away from the house, his hands jammed into his jacket pockets. Tweek snapped out of his shocked state and immediately followed. 

“Wait! You can’t just drop a bomb like that and walk away!” Tweek yelled as he tried to catch up. 

“Yes I can,” He said as he continued to walk away, not even looking back at the blonde. Tweek grabbed Craig’s wrist attempting to get him to stop walking, it didn’t work.

“Stop walking and talk to me you dick!” 

Tweek felt himself blackout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, writers block is the worst. But I’m back bitches!!!


	5. Happily ever after and all that shit

Un-fucking-believable, Tweek thought as he slowly moved to turn off his shrill alarm clock. He then unceremoniously flopped back on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. Did Craig really just yell a confession at him? This can’t be real, this has to be part of the curse otherwise his best friend has feelings for him and that can’t possibly be true. Yeah, Craig never talks about his feelings he wasn’t good at it and he knew it. Tweek knew he had feelings somewhere buried underneath the monotonous attitude and sarcasm but he never expected to see them. Craig looked exposed once he finally showed his feelings which composed of anger, concern, regret, and denial in that one interaction. Tweek felt his stomach turn at the thought of him instantly denying his words.

“Tweek!” Kenny yelled as he stood over the disheveled blonde. Tweek’s eyes snapped opened and yelled, now broken out of his deep thought.

“Ahh!” Kenny rolled his eyes at the sudden reaction and waited for the blonde to stop screeching.

“How the hell did you get in here?!” Tweek interrogated as he shifted into a sitting position on his bed.

“The front door was locked but your window wasn’t,” Kenny simply replied as he pointed to the open bedroom window. Tweek furrowed his eyebrows as his eyes flickered from Kenny to his window, it was a two-story house.

“But you were so quiet,”

“I’ve had some practice,” Kenny bragged as he promptly sat next to the blonde on the bed. “Are you okay?”

“No I-,” Tweek paused, wondering how to phrase it. “Craig said something to me the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it,”

“When he confessed to you,” Kenny guessed as he laid his head back on the headboard.

“Yea- wait how did you know?” 

“I saw it,” Kenny simply replied as Tweek looked over in confusion.

“What?”

“Yeah after the whole knife thing, I circled back around and saw your fight. It wasn’t that hard you two were really loud,” Tweek groaned as he let his face sink into his hands.

“Ugh, great. What am I going to do?”

“What do you mean, this is fantastic!” Kenny enthusiastically yelled as he moved to stand on the bed to emphasize his excitement. 

“What?” Tweek asked incredulously as Kenny stood over him, slightly jumping up and down on the bed.

“Think about it, this might be the reason we’re stuck, the universe is trying to get you and Craig together!” Tweek gaped at the energized blonde.

“That can’t possibly be it! That doesn’t even make any sense!” He exclaimed as Kenny stopped jumping and replied.

“Yeah it does, Creating a bond was a reason in the book so it must've meant a romantic bond,” Kenny logically concluded as he resumed continuing to celebrate his achievement.

“Then why are you in it?” Tweek asked still incredibly confused by the implication.

“Maybe I’m like a guide or someone to help you sort through all your bullshit while offering fun, sexy remarks,” Kenny replied with a wink and kept talking. “Perhaps the universe or whatever’s up there, wants you two to be together so bad they fucked up time just so you two can figure things out,” Kenny dropped to his knees as grabbed the shocked blonde’s hands. “You just need to confess to him too, then we’ll be free and you two can live happily ever after and all that shit,”

“Slow down! Even if what you’re saying is even a little true, he didn’t want me to know, I’ll just pretend it never happened. Let’s just keep trying to prevent him from flipping anyone off.” Tweek insisted as Kenny rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“Tweek that is a terrible idea and you know it,”

“But, Craig denied it,”

“Because of your reaction,” 

“What?”

“You looked like you were about to have a heart attack, I’m guessing the guy didn’t want to get rejected,” Kenny concluded, Tweek scoffed as he sharply pressed a finger to the other blonde’s chest.

“You try reacting to your best friend of seven years accidentally yelling a confession at you!”

“Do you like him?” Kenny bluntly asked as Tweek did a double-take. 

“What?!”

“Do you actually like Craig like that?” 

“I don’t know!” Tweek screeched as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Do you find Craig attractive?” 

“What?!”

“Don’t think just answer,”

“Yes!” Tweek yelled as he felt his ears burn.

“Good because he is fine as hell and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t blind,” The anxious blonde shot him a look but he kept asking questions.

“Do you like hanging out with him?”

“O-Of course I do,”

“Can you imagine being in an actual relationship?” Tweak paused to really think about it. They already held hands and spent every second together so that wasn’t hard to think of. Craig would keep randomly calling him babe or honey and support him but with a little more affection. The blonde could imagine them being more physical in more than a few ways. In theory, it would be great but it couldn’t be that easy.

“Answer!” Kenny yelled breaking Tweek out of his trance.

“Yes!” 

“Y-Yeah, I can,” Tweek quietly admitted to Kenny and to himself. “But I don’t think it’ll work between us,”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“W-We were forced into this relationship. Actually making it real would be too difficult and too much pressure!”

“What is there to think about? Just go up to him, grab his face and make out,” 

“It doesn’t work like that Kenny!”

“Yeah the timing sucks and how you guys got into this whole “fake dating thing” is really fucked up and creepy. But don’t let overthinking stop you from missing out on something you want!” Kenny exclaimed as he sat across from Tweek and lowered his voice. “Don’t make it complicated, not everything needs to be. Also repressing shit isn’t healthy,”

“So are you a therapist now?” Tweek asked with a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Apparently I am, the universe did assign this job to me,” Kenny joked as silence fell between the blondes.

“Do you really think he feels the same?” Tweek asked hesitantly breaking the silence. Kenny looked up with absolute certainty in his eyes.

“Tweek I am one thousand percent sure, if I’m wrong you can kill me yourself,” Kenny glanced at the clock and smiled as an idea formed in his head. “You know what I’ll prove it,”

“What?” At that precise moment, the doorbell rang, indicating Craig had arrived. Kenny jumped off the bed and rushed out the door. 

“Oh fuck, Kenny don’t you dare!” Tweek yelled as he followed Kenny down the stairs to the front door.

“Trust me,”

“Last time you said that you chloroformed Craig!” Tweek exclaimed as he recalled the memory of Craig unconscious on the floor.

“That won’t happen this time,” Kenny reassured as he swung the door open to reveal a slightly confused Craig.

“Why are you here Kenny?” The stoic boy flatly asked and he saw Tweek’s nervous expression. Kenny wasted no time and asked his question.

“Are you in love with Tweek?” Craig’s eyes widened as his face froze in shock. Though it happened in a matter of seconds, a slight blush rose on his frozen face. The stoic boy’s eyes flickered from a smirking Kenny to a shocked Tweek and immediately made the gesture before the blondes had time to react. 

................................................................................

“Was that really necessary?” Tweek asked after Kenny came back over after the relapse.

“He blushed, Craig mother fucking Tucker blushed! Now is that enough proof for you?” Kenny exclaimed as he pumped his fist in the air. Tweek sighed, Craig never blushed it really was proof.

“I-I guess it is,” 

“Good now get dressed, Craig will be over here in thirty minutes,” Kenny said as he started to get off the bed. “And put on those dark skinny jeans, they make your ass look fantastic,” 

“God, you’re insufferable,” Tweek complained with his face turning red.

“You’ll thank me later,” Kenny said with a wink as he walked out of the room. Tweek sighed as he grabbed the skinny jeans and began getting dressed.

“Hey, babe,” Craig stoically greeted as he moved to interlock his hand with the blonde’s.

“H-Hi,” Craig furrowed his eyebrows at the blonde’s obvious nervousness.

“Are you okay?” He asked flatly, Tweek swallowed while his heart pounded. He just needed to do it.

“I-I’m not sure,” Tweek closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I just, um, can I try something?” 

“Um, sure what?” Craig asked in confusion as the blonde took a hesitant step in front of him, slowly closing the gap. Tweek carefully cupped the sides of Craig’s face and pulled him close. Craig stiffened at the contact as his eyes slightly widened, their faces were now inches apart.

“I really don’t want to pretend anymore,” Tweek quietly admitted and he awkwardly pressed his lips to the dark-haired boy’s before he chickened out. His lips were soft, was what Tweek immediately thought, that, and the fact Craig wasn’t moving. Tweek’s eyes snapped open as he saw Craig’s eyes were wide open in shock. The blonde immediately pulled back and dropped his hands from the other boy’s face as he prepared to apologize. But before he could say a word, Craig grabbed the collar of his shirt and immediately resumed the kiss with much more intensity. The kiss lasted for about twenty seconds before Craig pulled away and pressed his forehead to the blonde’s.

“Me too,” Craig murmured as he met Tweek’s green eyes. His blue eyes were bright and a smile had formed on his face, it was a completely different look from his usual stony expression. Tweek felt himself smile with relief, the fear had faded away. Before either one could speak, someone began to slowly clap. The couple looked in the direction of the kitchen only to see Kenny leaning against the door frame clapping his hands together. Tweek rolled his eyes, he had completely forgotten Kenny was still here.

“Congrats you guys, my heart just melted,” Kenny said with a Cheshire grin, easily killing the mood.

“Why the fuck is McCormick here?” Craig asked in obvious annoyance at the sudden interruption. He had his left arm still wrapped around Tweek’s waist as he glared daggers at Kenny.

“Long story,” Tweek responded, still a little disoriented from the intense moment. Kenny wagged his eyebrows as he opened his mouth to speak.

“So do you two want company or-“ Craig cut him off by raising his hand and flipped him off. Tweek and Kenny immediately looked at each other. Kenny was beaming and his face held the position of I was right to look while Tweek deeply exhaled in relief as his face lifted into a smile.

“What the fuck?” Craig questioned at the sight of the two blondes staring at each other while smiling. Tweek looked away and tried to give an excuse.

“Nothing just uh-“

“I’ll just leave you two to it, have fun!” Kenny yelled as he moved past the couple and walked out the door. Craig turned and faced Tweek with an eyebrow raised indicating he wanted answers.

“L-Like I said it’s a long story,”

“God you’re so fucking weird,” Craig whispered, he carefully moved his hand to raise the blonde’s chin. He was about to resume the kiss when Tweek put his hand in front of his chest as a gesture to stop.

“Hold on a sec, I need to talk to Kenny,” Craig scoffed at the fact Kenny cock blocked him twice in the span of ten minutes.

“Really, now?” He questioned flatly, he crossed his arms like a child who hadn't gotten their way. 

“I’ll be quick I promise,” Tweek said as he kissed Craig on the cheek making the stoic boy’s cheeks rise with color. The blonde looked at his boyfriend with a smirk as he waited for Craig to give in.

“Fine,” With that Tweek opened the door and spotted Kenny walking down the sidewalk.

“Kenny wait!” Tweek called towards the chaotic blonde who promptly stopped walking and turned around.

“Shouldn’t you two be boning right now?” Kenny asked with a smirk plastered on his face. Tweek walked down the steps of his porch and stood in front of the other blonde.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping, I couldn’t have done this without you,” 

“So does that mean-“

“No we’re not going to have a threesome,” Tweek said abruptly as he cut off the horny blond. Kenny gave a fake pout as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Ugh, fine, but you at least owe me some KFC,” Tweek smiled at the remark and nodded.

“Deal and I’m sorry you got dragged into this whole thing,” 

“Oh please, I got the universe’s favorite couple together, I’m definitely going to get some good karma from that,” Kenny mused as a genuine smile crept upon his features. “Also I’m happy for you guys,”

“Thanks, Kenny,” 

“Now go, I don’t ever wanna be considered a cock block, it would ruin my sexy reputation,” 

“I also left a box of condoms on your nightstand!” Kenny added and Tweek’s entire face turned crimson. Without looking back, the blonde re-entered his house and saw an unamused Craig leaning against the wall.

“So are you going to tell me what-“ Tweek cut him off by gripping the collar of his jacket and pressing his lips against Craig’s. It was a lot more heated than before as Tweek moved to wrap his arms around Craig’s neck. The other teen eagerly leaned into it as he pulled the blonde closer by the waist.

“So you’re saying that you enlisted the help of Kenny, of all the people in South Park, to give you relationship advice?” Craig questioned as the couple sat closely on the couch with Craig’s head leaning on Tweek’s shoulder as they watched Red Racer. They had spent the last hour making out and trying other “things” until Craig finally brought up his previous question again and Tweek knew he couldn't always cut him off with a kiss. So naturally, he lied, probably for the last time.

“He’s actually really good at it, very inappropriate but he’s good.” Tweak admitted, Craig opened his mouth to retort.

“I guess he’s not so bad if he got you to make the first move,” The blonde scoffed and punched his boyfriend in the arm.

“Oh please, I know you weren’t ever going to make a move!” Tweek exclaimed as Craig rubbed his sore arm.

“Hey, I was making headway,” The dark-haired boy defended as Tweek shifted his body to look him in the eyes.

“Oh really?” 

“Yeah, why did you think I called you those pet names and held your hand all this time?” Craig sarcastically asked as he slid his hand into the blonde’s.

“Because you wanted to keep up appearances?” Tweek guessed as Craig removed his head from the blonde’s shoulder, the noirette scoffed.

“Fuck no, I’ve liked you since we were fourteen,”

“What?! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“I didn’t wanna fuck anything up,” Craig admitted as he looked down at their interlocked hands with a small smile.

“That’s gay,” Tweek said with a smile as he gave Craig a quick peck on the lips.

“You’re gay,” Craig retorted a little flushed while Tweek started laughing. 

“Shut the fuck up,” The blonde said as Craig leaned in and whispered.

“Make me,” Tweek smirked and grabbed the remote to turn off the T.V, this was going to be way more fun than a history quiz. Living in South Park sucked with all the weird anomalies, celebrities taking over the town, and aggressive shippers, but that didn’t stop Tweek from getting what he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I’m really glad I finished!!!💛💛💛

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading so far!!!


End file.
